Avoiding pressure and highlighting the benefits of seeing a urologist is one of the most effective ways to encourage men to take care of their health.
When a wife notices some level of resistance from her husband to seeing a urologist, the natural tendency is to pressure or criticize him.
However, showing support, offering care, and making shared decisions can be more effective in a man’s daily health routine.
This approach is more important than it seems: data from the latest National Health Survey (PNS, 2019) show that only 69.4% of men had a medical appointment the previous year, compared to 82.3% of women. In other words, many only seek medical attention when a condition has advanced.
Learn how to adopt a supportive attitude to increase the chances that your husband takes the first step.
Why do so many men avoid the urologist? (my husband won’t go to the urologist)
There are several sociocultural factors that explain why men avoid the urologist.
Many associate medical visits with vulnerability or fear of receiving a urological diagnosis, delaying care and impacting health.
Throughout life, men are often taught to hide fragility, avoid asking for help, or conceal fear.
Medical appointments—especially those involving intimate health—may cause significant discomfort and are frequently postponed.
Additionally, difficulty accessing medical services is another factor.
According to the PNS, 26.4% of Brazilians do not obtain medical care on the first attempt, whether in public or private systems, discouraging preventive care.
When it comes to men’s sexual health, myths and fears regarding prostate exams also play a role.
The digital rectal exam—important for prostate cancer evaluation—is one of the biggest taboos in urology, and addressing it helps promote awareness.
How to talk to your husband about seeing a urologist: 5 steps
Use empathy: understand before trying to convince
Communication about health within a relationship flows better when the wife tries to understand what is behind her husband’s resistance. Fear, shame, bad past experiences, or misinformation may be influencing him.
Ask how he feels about the topic and listen without judgment, creating space for him to consider taking the next step.
Talk about health, not fear
Warnings like “you might have a urological disease” can generate even more anxiety. A positive, preventive perspective is usually more effective.
Emphasize the importance of staying healthy, aging well, maintaining well-being and autonomy—encouraging responsible decision-making about health.
Show that prevention helps detect issues early
Prevention does not mean anticipating the worst, but rather identifying potential problems before they progress.
Explain that the fear of a diagnosis may delay appropriate evaluation and reinforce the value of consulting a physician.
Some men respond better when the conversation is based on facts. Provide reliable sources showing that basic exams can detect early prostate, urinary, or sexual health changes.
Explain what truly happens during the appointment
Part of the insecurity may come from shame or misconceptions about what happens in a urology appointment. Many imagine invasive or embarrassing procedures that do not reflect reality.
The wife can explain that most of the consultation consists of a conversation about medical history, lifestyle habits, and basic assessments.
It is also important to clarify that the digital rectal exam is quick and only recommended in specific cases.
Respect his timing, but do not ignore the signs
Give him space to reflect, but do not postpone the topic indefinitely—especially if he experiences erectile dysfunction, penile changes, urinary symptoms, or pelvic pain.
Gentle encouragements such as “I can schedule it, and you decide if you go” or “I can accompany you to the appointment” are often helpful.
What does the urologist do during the first appointment?
At the first visit to the urologist, the physician will gather a detailed health history.
This includes questions about habits, current medications, past surgeries, family history, sexual health, and urinary function to identify risk factors or issues that may require attention.
The urologist also helps clarify myths and concerns about urological exams.
Basic physical evaluations may include the abdomen, kidneys, testicles, and penis. Additional exams such as testosterone, PSA, or ultrasound may also be requested.
The digital rectal exam—although more invasive—is recommended only for patients at risk for prostate cancer.
If specific complaints exist, the urologist may request targeted tests to clarify the origin of symptoms and guide individualized evaluation.
When should a man see a urologist?
The urologist supports men’s health throughout all stages of life. However, urological check-ups become even more important in two situations:
- At any age, whenever urinary or sexual health symptoms appear;
- After age 50, to begin regular prostate monitoring—or earlier if there is family history. Awareness about prostate exams is essential for proper care.
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Sexual, urinary, and reproductive health can change over time. Paying attention to the body supports safer monitoring and earlier evaluation when needed.
If you think “my husband won’t go to the urologist,” it is natural to wish for proper guidance and evaluation.
Choosing a urologist who understands this common hesitation can help foster a more comfortable and supportive experience.
Urologists care for patients with diverse needs, offering guidance based on symptoms, prevention strategies, and each patient’s personal context.
If you need personalized evaluation, visit our pre-assessment page for more information.
